Similarly, being on the receiving end of this text puts the same strain as it keeps you wondering why he hasn’t texted you back. You find yourself more anxious by the minute. Although you shouldn’t expect quick replies from him, he might be delaying his texts because he is occupied with other things, or he’s purposely doing so to make you think about him. Making you wait for his texts isn’t mature, however, some women might have practiced this once or twice themselves. Here are 13 reasons a guy delays texting back:
1. He might be looking for the right answer
A guy might take forever to text back because he is overthinking his reply which would be best suited for the situation. He doesn’t have a definite answer and is trying to come up with an answer which will not be misunderstood. After overanalyzing every word that he wants to text, he will arrange and rearrange everything until he is content with it. That results in making you wait for hours. Especially if the question is a personal one, he might be anxiously trying to come up with a reply before sending something he might regret. Experts point out that texting creates anxiety because of the pressure to reply promptly, followed by the possible weight of our words, and the risk of being misunderstood. Thus, you should consider this possibility as well because you must have experienced the stress of texting something back which leaves no ambiguity and is non-offensive.
2. He doesn’t have a purpose to text you back
A guy delays his reply because he has nothing to say. Your last text didn’t give enough information to continue the conversation, thus he let it be. Also, if your texts are unthoughtful and not interesting, he might find them boring and unpurposeful, thus, taking him forever to text back. Texts that require his input will fuel him to respond and keep the conversation and keep him interested in the conversation. However, when the conversation is just dragging along, he might find it rude to just say bye, thus, taking forever to text back. Guys generally don’t appreciate small talk and having a conversation without a concrete purpose. So if you want to get him to text back quickly, recheck the content of your texts. On the contrary, women are more nurturing towards a relationship and would simply text to get an update on how their man is feeling.
3. He might be socializing
Sure, work and studies might be keeping him from texting you back frequently, but socializing is also added to why he is delaying his texts. A guy might take forever to text back because he is with his friends and enjoying the present moment without distractions from the virtual world. As it might be rude to pull up his phone in the middle of the conversation, he will make you wait until he finds the right time to text you back. You need to practice patience because overwhelming him with such texts might just ruin something beautiful by painting you as needy and desperate for his attention.
4. He might be emotionally insecure
Past relationships have communicated to him that his consistency of texting might be annoying and now he takes forever to text back. Also, he might be taking advice from his friends and it goes against his regular display of behavior changing his usual texting style. A guy will delay his reply because he doesn’t want to seem too eager for you and doesn’t want to risk it by showing too much enthusiasm. Furthermore, coming up with a reply or not knowing what to say next, or that he isn’t good enough for you is why he takes forever to text back. Psychologists point out that the insecurely attached type shows a dysfunctional perception of the self (low self-esteem, self-critical…), which might be followed by self-isolation behavior.
5. He isn’t that interested in the conversation
A guy starts to delay texting because he finds the conversation boring and nonsensical. Now he is looking for something else to keep himself distracted. Your topic might not be within his interests or a touchy subject, thus, he will wait before he texts you back– likely a direct response to the last text. Also, if he is the one caring for the whole conversation he might just find it draining. If you’re just being cooperative out of kindness, he will take forever to text back, until you match his efforts.
6. He thinks delaying texting will make you like him more
Making you wait for ages is what he assumes will make you like him even more, which might not likely be the case. This is his strategy to make you think about him all the time and wait by the phone for his text. Making himself hold back from texting you back on time, will save his face and not paint him as available for you all the time. His childish game might be working on you if you are overthinking the possibilities as to why he takes forever to text back or backfired on him and you cut things off.
7. He wants to seem cool in your eyes
A guy takes forever to text because he might be acting busy and as an important person who doesn’t have much time for you. By doing this, he thinks he will create a picture of this high-value man that is irresistible and worth being chased. Making you wait for his reply pushes him to think that it will make him more attractive in your eyes and you would feel honored to be texting him. Don’t exclude the possibility that something is occupying his time resulting in delaying texting back, though. However, you shouldn’t believe the extreme overpraising of self-importance.
8. He might be texting someone else
The reason why he takes forever to text back is that he is busy talking to other people as well. You are not the only person he texts and certainly not a priority thus far. He might be texting another love interest and doesn’t have time to text you since he is preoccupied with keeping her happy too. Other than a woman, he might be texting his friends and family, trying to catch up with everything. Since there are multiple people he is texting with, he might be categorizing the replies based on importance first and those that can wait for later.
9. You’ve been giving him dry responses
The manner of your texting style is another contributor which affects his purposeful delay of texts, especially if you’re giving him dry replies. Responding with two to three words will give him the impression that you aren’t interested in the conversation and are half-heartedly participating in it. When he notices that you aren’t giving him attention, he will make you wait for his texts because he thinks that you don’t mind. A person already not interested in the conversation wouldn’t care much whether the other delays the responses, right? Also, you might unconsciously kill every conversation he starts by either being too sarcastic, dishonest, or just simply agreeing with everything.
10. He might be fooling around
There isn’t a serious relationship that he is looking forward to but someone he can spend his time with temporarily to satisfy his needs. So a guy will take forever to text back because he’s just fooling around and he doesn’t have to keep in contact with you all the time. Keeping you in the loop when he needs some entertainment and someone to keep him busy when he has nothing to do is what a player does. So he is delaying texting back because he wants to keep you on the edge and playing the guessing game with him.
11. He wants to hook your attention
By delaying his texts, he’s hoping to get your attention and for you to initiate a conversation first since he’s always been the one doing it. Not giving you his full attention will subconsciously pull you towards him because you sense his lack of effort which challenges you to win it back. So when he delays his texts, your waiting period makes you wonder why he hasn’t texted back yet and inflicts a bit of self-doubt. Moreover, he waits to respond because he wants to re-enforce his presence and the consequences of a one-sided investment.
12. He might be showing his narcissistic tendencies
Some guys wait to text you back because they are sunk in the belief of their self-importance and that everyone else is inferior to them. Even if you address this problem he will not welcome it because he isn’t open to criticism, and he feels entitled to do whatever he wants. You might have disagreed on a certain topic and since his ego has been bruised, he takes forever to text back. He might even turn this on you. He thinks he’s perfect and faultless, so anything that goes against his perceptions will make him negatively react to the situation. According to Mayo’s psychiatrists, a narcissist will act out on his emotions when he isn’t recognized and admired for his achievements. As a result, this makes relationships difficult to maintain because of self-inflicted importance.
13. He thinks this will make you chase him
Making you pursue him is his intention, thus, waiting to text you back until he receives another text from you. He might not be ready to commit and doesn’t want to invest much. Since he isn’t serious about your relationship, he wants you to do most of the chasing. This will boost his ego and if you excessively run after him will make you look desperate for his attention. So you should stop before you burn out. When he starts playing hard to get and you feel that the relationship isn’t going anywhere, you should give it up. It isn’t worth it to lose your values and yourself in the process.
Should I be worried that he’s losing interest in me since he takes forever to text back?
You shouldn’t analyze his behavior in isolation from the other factors that might affect his behavioral pattern. Just because he delays his texts once in a while it doesn’t mean that he is losing interest in you. There might be sincere reasons behind his actions, and that’s why you should communicate your thoughts and feelings to him. Moreover, the dating stage matters in determining the seriousness of this behavior, since you would have had time to know him more. When in doubt, reach out to an expert! So, just because he’s waiting to text you back doesn’t mean that there is a decline of interest in you, but something personal might be going on. Just because you ask him why he isn’t texting back like he used to doesn’t make you clingy, you just need to know the right way to do it. Here’s an example, “Hey, is everything okay? I’ve noticed that you are taking longer to reach out these days. If there is anything I can help with, let me know.” You’re asking him about the reason why he has been taking forever to text back, which is preceded with calmness for his well-being. And, there is no accusatory tone hidden in there. Don’t let your concerns go unaddressed! Love, Callisto
