Maybe you’re confused about the way you feel. Or maybe you want somebody to confirm it for you. Your questions have reached me loud and clear, and these signs will be your guiding light as you unravel the true nature of your feelings. Let the red-carpet roll…
What Does Having A Crush Feel Like?
I simply cannot talk about having a crush on someone without singing along to Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me. Let’s all take a moment and do some karaoke from our respective screens: If you could see that I’m the oneWho understands youBeen here all alongSo, why can’t you see?You belong with me This is pretty much what a crush feels like. A cocktail of excitement, nervousness, and hope. Liking someone romantically means wanting to be around them. It also means letting them live rent-free in your head… And letting them be the reason you change five shirts in a row because “red isn’t really bringing out my eyes”. (This is something my friend actually did to get a girl’s attention at work.) As lovely as the feeling sounds, diagnosing a crush is no piece of cake; it calls for a lot of introspection and a lot of attention to detail. Once the realization dawns on you, it feels like you’re a marshmallow (I can’t explain it, just take my word). As our favorite Scarlett Johansson said, “It’s nice to have a crush on someone. It feels like you’re alive, you know?” Without further ado, let’s dive into the signs you have a crush on a guy or a girl. These are universal tips and can be used to know if you have a crush on someone of the same gender too. Get ready to address the question that’s been bugging you so far – do I have a crush on someone?!
17 Signs You Have A Crush On Someone
In all honesty, if you’re asking how to know if you have a crush on someone, you probably like them already. No one goes looking around for signs unless they want to find them. But I think you’re confused about the nature of your liking; is it strictly platonic, is it cute and romantic? And boy, do you want to be sure of things. You don’t want to date someone and realize that you guys were better off as friends. Clarity prevents heartbreak and pain! Be your most objective self as you go through these markers. You can’t know if you really have a crush on someone without being honest to yourself. Now enough with the chit-chat – here we go:
1. Like a moth to a flame
How to know if you have a crush on someone, you ask? The first thing to see is your tendency to be around them. Are you drawn to them instinctively? It’s exactly how Ross used to like being around Rachel all the time. The setting doesn’t matter, neither does the conversation. Just being in their proximity is something you do by default. If you’re hanging out in a group, you somehow manage to be by their side, engaging them one-on-one. You can peg this as a general fondness for sure – but who are we kidding. What’s that thing people say? “In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.”
2. What’s your body trying to say?
The body is always right. It gives you signals long before you recognize your emotions. The heat rising to the cheeks as you blush, your posture mirroring theirs, not being able to take your eyes off them, and the happy hormones kicking in and those butterflies in your stomach multiplying by the moment – these are the best signs you have a crush on a guy or a girl. You might have noticed that you’re nervous around your (possible) crush – the slight goof-ups in speech, the fidgety hands, a tapping foot perhaps. This is your body’s way of saying, “Cutie alert!” There will be a marked difference in how you (physiologically) feel around the person in question. Body language and attraction go hand in hand.
3. I’ll be thinking about you
Yes, this is a song by Calvin Harris. But it is also how to know if you have a crush on someone you barely know. This is a bittersweet feature of liking another person – daydreaming is wonderful with its rosy fantasies but it is also a phenomenal waste of time and energy. Their thoughts run marathons in your mind and you can’t help but lose yourself. Has this been the case with you lately? Do the most random things remind you of them? I once had a crush on a guy who was a distant acquaintance and a steam iron reminded me of him. I still don’t know why. Crushes are weird.
4. How to know if you have a crush on someone? Their two cents matter
When we’ve got a crush, their two cents are more like two dollars. No, really! Their opinion takes precedence over the sanest advice. Picture this: You’re working on a group project with your classmates (possible crush included) and you all are struggling to reach a consensus on the topic. Your object of interest recommends something, and your friend suggests the contrary. Whose opinion do you naturally gravitate toward? I bet it’s option A. In most cases, you will value their perspective a lot, even agree with it. The next time you find yourself nodding your head to what they’re saying, consider the implications (wink, wink) behind the same. I’ll also put in a word of caution: make sure that you don’t cross the line of having a crush by jumping into limerence which is toxic.
5. “Does my hair look okay?”
Aha! If you’ve said something like this, then you, my friend, are crushing on someone hard. Being mindful of your appearance is a dead giveaway of budding attraction. Brushing extra carefully, styling your hair well, or smoothing down your shirt before you meet them are all tell-tales of what’s cooking in the love department. If you’re an individual who doesn’t usually care much for dressing up, you’ll feel a shift in your attitude too. It might be something as unconscious as patting down your frizzy hair while talking to your sweetheart. Crushing on someone manifests in the littlest of things… This is how to know if you have a crush on a girl.
6. Stalker much?
Want to know if you’ve got a crush on someone online? Check your social media activity. Chances are the person in question is at the top of your search history. If you both are good friends, then they’ll be your most frequently contacted person too. Perhaps you post specific things for them on your social media handles (you know exactly what I mean). Maybe you’ve screenshotted a photo of them, and maybe you’re trying to muster the courage to drop a text. All the shy guys might be trying to get a girl to like them over text because it’s a low-pressure situation. Well, here’s the motivation you need – send that text, spark the conversation. Hope that answers how to know if you have a crush on someone.
7. Oh-so comfy
Now, this is not applicable if you’re having a crush on someone you barely know. This is for my amigos who are quite well-acquainted with their possible crushes and are even friends with them. All of you will be very, very comfortable in the presence of your romantic interests. Even if you have trust issues, this equation will feel safe to you. There will be an ease in your communication; your dynamic will be effortless. By extension, you will have placed a certain amount of faith in them. It might feel a little like a warm cocoon of familiarity and fondness. You’re completely on the right track if you’re asking, “Do I have a crush on someone?”
8. How to know if you have a crush on someone? The BFF factor
Your friends probably tease you a lot these days. They’ve got an inkling of your feelings because their bird’s eye view of the situation is helpful. In general, those around us tend to pick up on our emotions and tendencies quickly. If your friends keep shipping you with someone (while you vehemently deny it), you should have a good think. I have noted my BFFs crushes every single time before she’s become aware of them herself. In these events, I have sat her down and presented my observations in an organized manner. And then she’d had her ‘oh’ moment. Listen to your buddies, that’s how to know if you have a crush on someone.
9. Accidentally on purpose
Don’t lie to me, I know you’ve done this. Everyone has. When you orchestrate a run-in with someone, your heart has been taken. Planned oops-moments are the precursors of romance. And they come in all forms and manners. Maybe you frequent a café that’s their favorite. Or you send the ‘wrong text’ by accident (as if that’s a thing). These faux internet oopsies are a brilliant way of discerning if you’ve got a crush on someone online. Do you say things like “Wrong chat, sorry”?And follow it up with an explanation that you KNOW will start a conversation. All these tactics are an indicator of one obvious fact: you are in trouble. Do yourself a favor, and use a conversation starter instead.
10. J for jealousy
I simply love watching people get jealous for individuals who they aren’t dating. Like, there’s no reason for them to be possessive… And yet, their eyes narrow, eyebrows furrow, and hopes tank. Think of the last time you were unsettled because of your crush’s interaction with someone. Perhaps you were surprised by your own feelings. Jealousy and romance are quite connected. But how to know if you have a crush on someone for SURE? If the (pardon my cliché) green-eyed monster has reared its head in your mind, then maybe there’s more to your feelings than an innocent liking. When you get ticked off about them going on a date, ask yourself a very important question – why do I care??
11. Circling back
This one is more for my ladies reading this. Here comes one of the biggest signs you have a crush on a guy: you keep talking about him. No matter where the conversation starts, you circle back to him or something related to him. Say you’re talking to a friend about work stress or your annoying boss. Four minutes later, you’re talking about how that guy is great at his job. And you’re probably unaware of the topics transitioning yourself. His name comes up a lot in conversation (A LOT), and people might be starting to notice that too. Interesting. Very interesting.
12. All in the details
And you, who couldn’t remember your own phone number, now remember that person’s mum’s middle name and its origin story. All of a sudden, you have an elephant’s memory. I have a mad story for everyone trying to know if you have a crush on someone of the same gender. My friend, Maria, was in two minds about a coworker (Kimberly) of hers. The girl gang decided to do a fun rapid-fire where they asked questions about Kim to Maria. What’s her favorite color? What was she wearing yesterday? Does she take her coffee with milk? And Maria answered each of them instantly. Long story short – she’s been with Kim for a year now.
13. How to know if you have a crush on someone? Your mind is a good place to be in
Allow me to get a little racy. While this might not be applicable for all of you, a good percentage will relate to what I’m saying. Sexual fantasies about the individual in question are quite common. Vivid scenarios might run through your mind where you both are up to all kinds of hanky-panky. You might’ve passed this off as a temporary fancy but I’m here to contradict you. Sexual attraction is a very important component of genuine feelings. So, when you ask how to know if you have a crush on someone, I point to the sexy thought bubble over your head.
14. “I swear he looks better in yellow lighting”
Why so defensive? If anyone passes a not-so-nice comment on the object of your affection, you jump to their defense like a valiant knight. It could be a friend, a colleague, your boss, or your parents. And the comment could’ve been very nonchalant; you, however, take it as an affront. Get real with me for a second – haven’t you come to that person’s defense in a flash? It could’ve been something as innocent as, “He’s not that bad.” For the record, I think it’s cute. And I’ll let you in on a secret; I deliberately say something snarky about my friend’s possible crushes so they can come to the golden realization themselves.
15. You like them before you LIKE them
This is really important food for thought. The foundation of a healthy crush is general respect for another person. Before liking them romantic-style, you like them person-style. You hold them in high regard and think of them as a good human being. As you read this, you’re looking back to your time with them. Do you feel like you’ve just swallowed a mouthful of hot chocolate? Is the warmth spreading all the way to your tummy? They’re so nice, aren’t they? Just adorable. Still asking how to know if you have a crush on someone? Probably not.
16. Say cheese, please
Yo bro, who got you smiling like that? In there lies the answer to how to know if you have a crush on a girl. As Koi Fresco said, “The people who make you smile from just seeing them, those are my favorite people.” Think about your own favorite people for a moment. Is that girl on the list? I bet she is. If she’s the reason behind your goofy grin… If her presence can put you in a good mood… And if things are better when you’re with her, you’ve got yourself a crush. The smiles are how you know if you really have a crush on someone. Take a chance and ask her out, you might just get a good surprise.
17. Was I flirting? Kinda, sorta, almost
Maybe you’ve taken yourself by surprise recently. While talking to your crush, did you let a saucy retort slip? Or did a midnight conversation lead you to drop an unconscious hint? You must have been as astonished as them. But this slip-of-text has made things clear – you have a crush on someone online and you want to get flirty. Don’t try to reign it in, please. Go all out with your feelings, and flirt like a pro! That you ‘want to’ is a self-sufficient reason to do something. This is exactly how you answer “Do I have a crush on someone?” So? How did you fare? Now you know if you really have a crush on someone. The next step is figuring out if they like you back. Are there any signs of mutual attraction present? If yes, then go about planning the perfect proposal to seal the deal. I’m so thrilled for you. On the off-chance that you don’t like the person you thought you did, it’s good news in a way of speaking. You have clarity and can focus on leading your best life. And the next time you like someone, there won’t be two ways about it. You can thank me for these handy tips later.
