Whether it is a separation or a divorce, it is normal to miss the bond that you once shared with your husband. It’s normal to wish that your marriage had not ended the way it did. You might miss your husband and want him back. You might still want to make it work. If you want to win back your husband after he leaves you, we have a few tips that could help. We spoke to emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney), who specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief, and loss, to name a few, about the different ways to make your husband miss you during separation.
20 Ways To Make Your Husband Miss You During Separation
Missing someone you love is a sign of intimacy and attachment. If you’re going through a separation, it’s natural to wonder if your husband misses you as much as you miss him. Questions like “Will my husband miss me during separation?”, “How to make your husband realize your importance?” or “Should I be texting my husband after separation?” are bound to cross your mind. It’s normal to want your man to miss you during separation when you love him and feel the same about him. You might also be wondering, “How to make my husband miss me during separation?” When someone misses us, it assures us of the fact that they love us and are thinking about us. It is one of those positive signs during separation that gives us hope that it might just be possible to save the marriage. Statistics reveal that 87% of couples, who have been living separately, end up filing for divorce, while the remaining 13% reconcile post-separation. We know the percentage of couples who reconcile is low but don’t feel disheartened. Your marriage does not have to meet the same fate. You can fall into that 13% of couples who get back together despite living separately. If you’re looking for tips on how to win back your husband after he leaves you, here’s a list of 20 such ways that could work in your favor:
1. Don’t be there all the time
Pooja says, “Not being there for your husband all the time to fulfill his needs can make him miss you but it could also make him grow distant. Like they say, out of sight, out of mind.” Be there but don’t make it look like you’re at his beck and call. “How to make my husband miss me during separation?” One of the answers to this question is to not be around him all the time – whether it’s physically or through calls, text messages, and social media. Let him take care of his own life and needs. When he sees that you’re not available for him all the time and that he might have to manage on his own, he will begin to miss your presence in his life.
2. Make small gestures of love
Make small gestures of love to make your husband miss you during separation. Pooja says, “Send him a surprise gift or a note of appreciation. Leave something that reminds him of you. Such gestures will make him believe that you love him, care for him, and that will make him miss you too.” Small romantic gestures for him will definitely bring a smile to his face, especially if he didn’t expect them at all. Don’t overdo it. Keep it subtle but special.
3. Take care of your own needs
If you’re asking yourself, “How to save my marriage while separated?”, then know that you need to take care of yourself first. Your relationship with yourself is most important. No matter how much you love your husband and want to win him back, always remember that taking care of your needs and wellbeing comes first. Become independent, do the things you enjoy doing the most, live your own life, and most importantly, treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. In short, do whatever makes you feel content. You have to take care of your body, mind, and soul. When your husband notices your progress, he’ll start to miss you. He might realize that he doesn’t want to let you go. He might realize that he doesn’t want to live away from you anymore because he still cares about you as he did when you guys were together. He might realize that he still loves you the same way. He might not want the marriage to end in a divorce.
4. “How to make my husband miss me during separation?” – Don’t act desperate
This is one of the most important tips to keep in mind if you want to win back your husband after he leaves you. Do not act desperate or behave like a clingy partner in front of him. He needs to see and know that you don’t need him to have fun or live life on your terms. You want him, yes, but you don’t need him to stay alive. This also works if you want to make your husband realize your importance in his life. “Will my husband miss me during separation?” He just might if you play hard to get or ignore him for a bit instead of acting desperate. Act mysterious. Let him chase you. Ignore him for a bit (turn off your phone, take a while to respond to texts, and stay away from or limit social media) or be available judiciously but make sure to not come across as cold or off-limits. Give him the chance to think or discover more about you by making sure you don’t lay out all your cards on the table for him.
5. Say no to text bombing
For the unaware, text bombing is defined as the act of sending text messages one after the other without waiting for or giving the receiver time to respond. In short, don’t bombard your husband with text messages. Give him space and time to respond to you. Give him time to miss you. Texting husband after separation is fine but don’t go overboard. The same rule applies when replying to his messages and returning his calls. Don’t respond immediately. Wait for a bit. It’ll send a message that you aren’t desperate to win your husband back and that you have more important things to take care of than replying to his messages. Don’t answer his calls on the first ring. A lack of responsiveness from your end may make him wonder if you’ve moved on in life and want nothing more to do with him. He might just realize he still loves you and it will make him miss you.
6. Limit social media bonding
Another answer to your “How to make my husband miss me during separation?” quandary is to limit your social media presence. Reduce the frequency of your activity – be it tweets, Instagram posts, stories, Facebook status, or Snapchat – on social media. Limit your interaction with your husband and stop tracking his activities. This will keep him guessing about what is going on in your life. He will want to know if you’ve gotten over him or still miss him. He’ll keep thinking about you and wonder how you’ve been since the separation. It’ll make him realize that he misses you.
7. Give him space
“Will my husband miss me during separation?” Well, there is a way to make him miss you. Give him space to figure things out and adapt to his new life. Follow the no-contact rule for at least a couple of months. No calling or texting husband after separation. Seeing you ignore him will make your husband realize your importance. He may even realize that he doesn’t want to let you go. It will also make him think about you and wonder whether it was so easy for you to move on. It’ll give him the chance to introspect and reflect on the happier times, making him realize that he misses your presence in his life.
8. Spend time with your friends
In this hullabaloo of trying to figure out signs husband wants to save marriage after separation or ways to make your husband realize your worth, don’t forget that you have a life of your own too. So, go out and spend time with your friends. Have some fun. Distract yourself from what you’re going through and let your hair down. We know you’re probably feeling lonely but that doesn’t mean you have to sit in a corner and cry all day. Enjoy a meal or a night out with friends. Have a house party or go clubbing. Talk to them about what you’re going through. Share your pain. They are your friends. They’ll understand and help you cope with it. With them around, you probably won’t feel as if you’re all alone in this mess. You have their love and support at every step, no matter what happens in the future. At least you know that you’ll be able to deal with whatever comes your way with the support of your wonderful friends.
9. “How to make my husband miss me during separation?” Be happy, have a life of your own
This is most important. In the process of trying to find positive signs during separation or figuring out how to win back your husband after he leaves you, don’t forget that you deserve to be happy irrespective of the outcome. Do things that bring you joy – learn a new skill, practice a favorite hobby, take care of your physical health, book yourself a spa session, read, take yourself out for a meal or movie, or buy yourself your favorite perfume or dress. Try to shift your focus from “How do I save my marriage while separated?” to “How do I make myself happy?”. Do things that make you feel alive, inspired, and loved. You need to be happy first if you want your husband to feel attracted to you again. When he sees you taking care of yourself, enjoying life, making the most of each moment, and living on your own terms, he will feel happy too and will start to miss you. Besides, we are all responsible for our happiness. Don’t wait around for your husband or someone else to give it to you.
10. Remind him of the happy times you’ve shared together
“How to make my husband miss me during separation?” One way is to remind him of the happy times you’ve shared during your courtship and marriage. When you begin talking to him more frequently, recall the old days during the conversation. Talk about everything you’ve gone through together. Stick to the positive aspects for the time being. A conversation about old memories will bring a smile to his face and make him miss you. Pooja suggests, “It is important to make him realize the significance of what you have created together as a couple. Bonds sustain because of emotional connection and involvement. Remind him of the special private rituals you followed as a couple, the life you have built together, how important you are to each other, and how much you love and care for them. Remind him of why he fell in love with you all those years ago and the promises that were made. This could help you win him back.”
11. Keep the communication going
Keeping communication lines open is one of the ways to make your husband miss you during separation. Pooja says, “Ensure that you keep communicating through calls or chats even when you are away. Keep having conversations involving common friends and common issues. This will help ensure that you always have things to discuss with each other and also make him miss your physical presence more. Communication is important because it will help you know what is on your husband’s mind and what he thinks about the separation as well as getting back together. You will be able to listen to his point of view and also know how he feels about the separation and what went wrong in the marriage. You will also be able to communicate your feelings to your husband. Be a good listener if you want to win back your husband after he leaves you. It’ll make him feel heard and understood and also show that you care.
12. Be yourself, seek personal growth
Personal growth is crucial for your individuality as well as to save your marriage from falling apart. Seeking personal growth, working on yourself, and beginning to recognize and change unhealthy behavior patterns because they affect your life and relationships negatively are signs that you are taking care of your own well-being. It shows that you are trying to become a better version of yourself. Being your true self is of utmost importance in a relationship and life. You are unique and whole on your own and that is what your husband should be attracted to. A fake attitude will not hold ground for too long. The mask will fall someday. When your husband sees your growth and a change in behavior, he’ll realize you’ve changed for the better and have a goal or purpose in life and eventually start to miss you. He’ll accept and appreciate you for what you are and try to make the marriage work. He’ll realize that he still loves you and can’t let you go.
13. Ensure quality time when you both meet
You’re probably wondering, “How do I save my marriage while separated?” Pooja advises, “You can try doing the things you used to do in your early courtship days. Partake in hobbies that you both enjoy. Watch a film or series together, Go out for a meal. Cook together. Spend some time with each other so that you can view your issues in a fresh light. This could be a date or a small staycation or a vacation – anything both of you are comfortable with.” Spending quality time together will help you gauge his responses and reactions. Engage in fun and happy conversations. Create new memories so that he has something to think about when he goes back home. Be best friends with him. Try to develop a genuine friendship with him. The flirting and the romance can wait. Allow and encourage him to be his natural self. It’ll break the awkwardness and help restore the same normalcy you shared when you were together. When he enjoys being with you, he will start to miss you and crave you all the more.
14. Talk to each other and figure out why the separation happened
This is the most important answer to “how do I save my marriage while separated”. If you want to save your marriage from falling apart, talk to your husband about the underlying issues in your marriage. Get to the root cause of the separation and try to find a solution. Listen to what your husband has to say, what his take on the matter is, and whether he feels that the problems can be worked out. Also, communicate your feelings and viewpoint to him. Tell him that you want him back in your life and are willing to find solutions to your marital problems together. Don’t beg or act desperate. Just honestly, but firmly, tell him what you feel. Your husband needs to see that you’re willing to work through the issues in your marriage. He needs to see your effort and the fact that you’re willing to resolve conflict and make the marriage work. He needs to be assured of your presence and support when things get tough in life. He needs to be able to trust you. Once that happens, he will begin to miss you and want you back. Pooja suggests consulting a marriage counselor or signing up for couples therapy to resolve your problems if both partners are willing to give their relationship another chance. You need to figure out the cause of the separation and treat it. A third person will help you see things from a fresh perspective. They will be able to help you strengthen your bond using different couples therapy exercises and techniques. If you’re going through something similar and are looking for help, you can always reach out to Bonobology’s panel of licensed and experienced therapists.
15. Allow him to take initiative
Marriage is a two-way street. It requires both partners to put in the effort to make it work. If one partner takes all the initiative and pressure of making the marriage work, it’s a matter of concern. Make the effort to win back your husband after he leaves you but make sure you are not the only one doing all the heavy lifting. Let him make that effort too. If he does, then he probably wants you back too. But, if he doesn’t, you’ll know there’s no point chasing him. Pooja explains, “If your husband is trying to keep the conversation going, keeps calling and messaging you, shows a keen interest in meeting you and spending time with you, wants to sort out all marital issues, is genuinely interested in knowing you and what’s happening in your life, still remembers important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, know that these are signs husband wants to save marriage after separation. It’s a sign he misses you and wants you back in his life.”
16. Be appreciative of him and his dreams
A crucial tip on “how to make my husband miss me during separation” is to be his support system. Understand and appreciate his achievements, dreams, and goals. Be supportive of his endeavors and give him space and time to accomplish his ambition. Compliment him, appreciate him for the person he is, how he makes you feel, and all that he does for you. You could also show appreciation through meaningful gifts or special gestures of love. It will make him see you for the amazing person you are. It might just make your husband realize your importance in his life. Seeing you become his pillar of support will make him miss you.
17. End conversations from your side
When we suggest ending conversations from your side, we mean to not stretch it just for the sake of it or because you love your husband and want him back in your life. If you don’t have much to share or discuss, don’t act desperate by trying to make small talk or engaging in unnecessary, baseless conversations just because you want to keep talking to him. It’ll send a message that you’re not over him (we know you’re not but he doesn’t have to for now) and desperately want him back. Limit your conversations. The idea is to keep him interested and hooked. You could start an interesting conversation about yourself or your past or some intriguing experience or incident. But don’t tell your husband everything about it, just enough to pique his interest and make him crave more. Tell him you have to be somewhere and you’ll continue later. See how he reacts. If he misses you and wants to know more about you, he will call you and speak to you regarding the experience you shared with him.
18. “How to make my husband miss me during separation?” Learn his love language
Sometimes, marriages fail because partners are unable to figure out each other’s love language. For the unaware, a love language is a person’s primary way of expressing love and affection toward their partner – be it through words, gifts, spending quality time with each other, physical touch, or acts of service. It is also how they like to be loved and appreciated in return. If you want to win back your husband after he leaves you, learn his love language. Learn to love your husband the way he wants to feel loved. “But I never shied away from expressing my love to him”, you may say and it’s true. However, the problem is your efforts might have gone in vain if you didn’t express your love in the language he prefers. Pay attention to what makes him feel loved and appreciated. Also, try to recall how he expressed his love to you when you were together. Is it through words (saying “I love you” or “Thank you” or a simple “you look great in that dress”), giving and receiving gifts, physical gestures (cuddling, kissing, holding hands, or sex), spending quality time with you, or gestures and actions (doing household chores, running errands, managing the kids, taking care of your partner when they are sick)? Figure out your husband’s love language and make the effort to embrace it.
19. Don’t play victim, avoid complaining about your situation
Will my husband miss me during separation? Well, not if you’re always grumbling about your situation. It’s natural to feel broken and sad. Your marriage is falling apart and that is, of course, upsetting. You feel as if you can’t live without your husband, which is why you end up cribbing and complaining about the situation every time you speak to him. We understand it will be difficult but please stop doing it. The separation is hard for him too. He doesn’t need you to keep complaining about it and play the victim card every time he speaks to you. Besides, it will make you come across as a needy and clingy partner who does not know how to be happy on their own. He will feel like you are dependent on him for your happiness and that you do not have a life of your own. So, stop asking him questions about the future of your marriage every time you speak to him. Such behavior will only frustrate him and eventually push him away from you. Instead, let him see that you understand the situation both of you are in and that you are here for him as a friend.
20. Don’t push your husband into something he’s not ready for
This is probably the most important tip for your “how to make my husband miss me during separation” query. Don’t force your husband to do something he does not want to or is not ready for. If, after all your efforts, you see that he’s not into you or not love with you anymore and does not miss you, let him go. Don’t try to win him back or force him to get back with you. You will be hurt but there is no point in being with someone who has no feelings for you. You shouldn’t try to change that either. Constantly asking him if he misses you or trying to convince him to give your marriage a second chance is not going to help. Instead, it will make him feel like you don’t respect his feelings, which you should. Besides, if you constantly have to convince him about getting back, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself whether you’re doing it for your collective happiness or just for yourself. Do you want to pressurize someone to be with you? Is it even worth it? It is possible to make your husband fall in love with you again. However, it depends on what both of you want and whether your husband still has feelings for you and misses you the way you miss him. Pooja says, “A couple can save their marriage after separation if both partners are willing to work on the issues that led to the dispute. They might need therapy or counseling but it is possible to make amends.” We hope the above-mentioned tips help you win back your husband after he leaves you. Good luck!
